Simple Woman Daybook~ Monday

Outside My Window...

I see gray skies again, but it's sunnier inside

I am thinking...

of how beautiful the earth is going to be when it's spring because it is resting now

I am thankful for...

a healthy growing baby in my belly

From the kitchen...

hot tea is steeping

I am wearing...

my warm brown flower sweater everyone compliments me about (so European ;)

I am creating...

another blog post

I am going...

to be gentle with my kids as our day unwinds

I am reading...

parenting books

I am hoping...

for our last month and a half of winter to be calm and enjoyable

I am hearing...

the heater warming our house

Around the house...

it's getting close to the 'bewitching' time where I will need to cook dinner, put up the clean dishes. finish laundry and keep the kids patient and calm so I can get the above mentioned done!

One of my favorite things...

is evening quiet time when I can unwind from the day

Snow Day

Here's a post I've been meaning to put up (and yes, I am not posting EVERY day as I meant to. But you know, this is still going pretty good! so I am not going to be hard on my self, afterall it's not a trafficked site this one! don't have too many just hanging there for a new post ;)

 It's been snowing down in the Midsouth! wow! It does happen usually once or twice this time of year. However often it starts melting and then when it freezes again it's all ice. Not very fun to play with. But this time we have been blessed with some nice powdery snow and hardly any ice!

Liv getting aquainted with snow, she wasn't quite sure about it at first! Didn't like it 'sticking' to her 'mit'ens'

Jman could hardly stay still once he was out in the snow!

Daddy got to stay home that first snow day so it was lots of fun having him around helping putting back on gloves,...

Have a snow ball fight (Liv liked it as long as she was not getting hit with snowballs!)

We even attempted buidling a snowman

But we (especially he!) had too much fun stomping it and running over it!

Overall we had a good time. Jman came back in with daddy after we girls had already returned to the warm cozy indoors. He had gotten super wet (didn't dress him properly I guess!) and was shacking for being cold and wet and, silly me, I started a warm bath for him. Of course upon getting in the warm water, the shock of feeling all of the sudden warm got him all prickly and tingly and he started screaming, I had to get him out and calm him a bit, reassuring him the feeling was normal and would go away. His answer: "I am not going out in the snow again!"...of course the following week as it snowed a few inches he went back outside to enjoy it, get a bit wet, but not overwhelmingly so!

Different Seasons, different Christians

I am sharing this post from Mike Cope's blog. I have never met him nor hear him preach, that I can recall, but started reading his blog after finding a link to it from some other friend or acquaintance's blog. He has studied, preached and worked in my 'circle of heritage' (Harding University and the Churches of Christ). I have come to really enjoy his posts, especially since he seems to pinpoint issues pertaining to faith, religion, Christianity and American culture that I have also experienced or wrestled with. In this post about Summer and Winter Christians I saw my own journey and spiritual personality change, for I have been both summer and winter. I went from being a truly devoted Summer Christians (who, ashamed to say now, thought everyone who was not as 'summery' as myself as wrong and not a 'true believer'), to becoming a Winter follower, one that struggle to follow, love and forgive God after my very first and bitterest taste of tragedy and disappointment in life. Although I am not back to being Summer, and honestly I sometimes am sad, for I miss the un-entangled (not a word but I wish it were) joy, the unabashed emotions, the zeal and passion I had. I have often asked God to take me back to that, for I still struggle with that fear that my devotion, my love to Him is not enough or good enough unless I 'feel' that way. However, I am not as winter as I once was. No, I have been given lots of reason to sing for joy and gratefulness to God, my arms now filled, my heart now mending. Though there is still the ache and pain, it is hardly noticeble, for He has put a new song in my heart. I may not be able to say "God will do this" and I still struggle hearing Him, but I do hear Him in smaller, more ordinary ways: Be still, be patient, it's not about the big things alone. I am now, with the continual heart healing and cleansing, the changing of seasons, more of a 'in between 'Christian,' sometimes more like Fall, sometimes more like Spring. Nerveless, I hope we can all, winter summer and in between, learn to follow and adore God in unity and in respect and love for one another.

 T
FOR TODAY
Outside my window...
 Light gray sky contrast long black tree limbs, wet sidewalk and grass. 
I am thinking...
 Of finishing the short novel I am reading while sipping hot tea...(if children permit)
I am thankful for...
 My children. Hot "English" tea when you can't have coffee. Books to read.
From the learning rooms...(aka as play room here!)
children played with Kid K'nex toys creating structures and 'pictures'...mostly learning to share the pieces together
From the kitchen...
 some yummy applesauce mini-muffins are calling my name
I am wearing...
 NOT my pjs, but my nice maternity "skinny" jeans and my 'what's kicking?' long sleeve shirt, though I plan to go nowhere today :). Except that I am not wearing 'laced-up shoes' buy house-shoes, the Flylady would be proud of me. 
I am creating...
 a long-term "to-do" list of non urgent but important things (updated my Italian citizen status, get citizenship for the rest of the family, finish my history degree)
I am going...
 to try and do what I want to do, not only what I have to do
I am reading...
 "The Reckoning" by Beverly Lewis- last book of a three part series set in Amish Lancaster country.
I am hoping...
  Dr's Kings dream of a world of love, peace and brotherhood will come closer to reality, on earth as it is in Heaven, starting with where I live.
I am hearing...
 My children's CD player playing "Amazing Love...;" as they laugh and dance; the washing machine spinning the cloth diapers
 Around the house...
lights are on for this gray morning
One of my favorite things...is to have nothing pressing to do
A few plans for the rest of the week:
 Blog about our snow day, watch Masterpiece Classic on PBS, start and FINISH a few personal and house projects, talk, dream and plan with hubby about buying our first house, cook some warm yummy soups (chicken tortilla soup and rice and lentil soup) as well as attempt more homemade bread and goodies.
Here is picture for thought I am sharing...

Friends

 Tuesday we had our sweet "O-Liv" (the girl I keep Mon&Tue) come over and the kids were thrilled to have her back to play. It is the cutest thing to just see them rushing to the door when she comes. They are such social beings, and Jman more and more asks me about seeing friends. Liv as well has started to ask about a particular friend more and more. I know that they get  a lot of the social drive  from me, but it is so sweet to see how it plays out in their little selves. When we went freecycling and the lady came out to help me with the item I was taking, he asked her "Do you have any boys I can play with?"- my sweet little boy LOVEs being with others and I know I need to make more of an effort to get him some play dates!

 I also got to keep a couple of my friend's little boys as she had a Dr's appointment to keep. Even though sharing and taking turns with different toys and stuff can be hard, Liv and Jman interact with eagerness and great exuberance when they are with others, children and adults alike. In some ways they are a little too friendly- they don't have personal space, as well as wanting to be center stage- especially Liv right now, she loves getting all the attention, but that is her age too!

 (RE: personal space. I still remember one day , during a lesson about personal space in our communications class my freshman year of college, a girl I had gone to high school my senior year with shared how I had in fact demonstrated that Europeans, Italians in particular, have less of a personal space since we had become acquainted in our English class! I was mortified for I never realized that even this girl, someone I was friendly but not close to, thought I was getting 'too close' when talking to others; I asked not-yet-hubby about it and he said it was mostly true, but that he loved it! lol!). 

 Here is a picture of the kids on the couch watching the beginning of 'Land Before Time' (a dinosaur movie). 

The staying still on the couch didn't last very long! I put a double quilt on the floor later (no carpet) for them to have a picnic and eat their lunch. Then it was a wonderful mayhem of crumbs and toys and laughter. Oh, but so much fun, especially for the kids you know! like that wonderful movie says "no one is a failure when he has friends"....and no one- including mommies- worries about any silly ol' messes when you are with friends!

Today...

....I spent some time sipping tea with a very good friend
....My son asked me to cuddle him (and I need to take advantage of that more)
....My daughter laughed and giggled with her brother playing pretend
....My children shared their toys, and then my son shared his snack with me
....My husband said that both my hard-worked for homemade dishes were 'heavenly'....
....and I am starting to feel more sure about those tiny little movements inside of me :)

 It felt like a hard day at times, but now that I look at it closer it was a very good day too. Lots to be thankful for.

Balancing budget and healthy eating

Our garden, that Jon planned, planted and tended all summer/fall, end of May/June '10

  I officially am a good spinach sausage pie maker- both kids loved it last night, as well as hubby, and Liv wanted a third helping, while super Jman, I couldn't believe it, just enjoyed two helpings of cauliflower with olive oil and salt. I am doing my best to keep up with cooking our own meals and making most of our food from scratch if needed, as well as making it healthy as often as I can. That's time consuming and hard, and I knowI probably will have to buy pie crusts more often than not. And that is okay. As well as bread. But I am going to attempt and start making my own bread and such. We shall see how it goes. My financial goal right now is to bring down the grocery bill as much as I can, and still not go crazy, eat out or eat unhealthy. But I am not going to be able to buy organic or even cage free eggs, or my organic milk and meat. Unless somehow I can eliminate some other things and make room for that. But the good thing is that this is not the end of the world, as it might be for some. And it might be just for a period of time. Or maybe until the kids move out of the house and we can afford it. And it is okay. I want to eat healthy and teach my kids good nutrition, but I don't want to make it an idol. I never have seen it that way, truthfully. I grew up on good, preservative and additive free food in Italy, and no, we did not make our own pasta and tomato sauce! It's just easier to eat fresher fruit and vegetables and buy healthier meals. The food industry is not like it is here. For now at least. And even now that I am an American resident, we eat whatever is shared with us and I won't turn up my nose at anything that has refined grain (hey, we still use white flour often!) or anything that might have grown with pesticides, because we are still there baby- and food is food, something we should always appreciate and be thankful for. We have it in such an abundance you can't even compare it to the rest of the world without wanting to cry.
 I was recently encouraged to know there are others out there, like the author at Passionate Homemaking making a conscientious effort to diminish the negative aspects 'eating healthy, sustainably, etc" can have with our personal relationships. In her latest post about this subject (follow the link above) she talks about why it's better to make exceptions with 'healthier' food if your husband won't eat it or doesn't like it- it's sounded like a given, but then I talked about it with Jon and come to find out, he doesn't like when I add cabbage or spinach to my meatloaf (which is what I usually do to make it more 'nutritious' and get some veggies in the kids systems!)

We learned how to garden last year (or my hubby did, because he did most if not all of the work! And he did great btw) I have my "The Vegetable Gardener's Bible" my dad bought us this past summer to read now. Lord willing we will attempt it again this year, and I plan to go at it with more foreknowledge. I will do the reading/research for hubby since with the bambino or bambina (there is some Italian for you) coming beginning of the summer, I am going to once again leave the bulk of the work (that is everything probably!) to him!

 (in case you are wondering: why is she posting everyday? Well, two reasons, one is that I am trying to get into the habit of blogging again, and second because my friend Amy asked other's to join the '21 day challenge' where we try and blog everyday.)

Freecycling

 Today was fun. I got a used, but free baby diaper changing table! First time ever to have one. I have been very proud of what we had used in the past (a desk, now a small dresser) and it has worked fine for us and would have, but I thought," hey a real changing place would be nice this time around" :) The best thing is that I got the call! Here in Memphis when someone offers something free there are lots more that respond than the small town when I first joined freecycle. Freecycle is a yahoo or some other e-mail group specific to a certain area where people can list what they have to give away for free and you can also ask for what you are looking for, hoping someone has it and will give it away, again for free! I have been able to get some free stuff for the kids this way (shoes, clothes, an umbrella stroller, and a few other things like that). Here in this city there are lot more people who will respond. I have given things away too and I have a stash, in fact, up in one of my closets of 'things to give away'. This is my favorite way of 'getting rid of stuff', other than giving it tosomeone I know personally or who is known by friends who needs it. It is a community way of doing things- get to meet and interact, even if briefly or not even face to face, with strangers who live in your own town and area. I like the idea of doing things this way: build community, share, and stop filling the landfills with stuff! Some of your junk is other's people's treasure! Truly, you can post just about anything....I have a electric tea kettle I just loved, but for some reason is not working anymore. It might just be trash, but maybe somebody out there knows just what to do to make it work (or what to use it for!).

Practical and Inspirational ideas for the New Year from other bloggers

  I was reading different blogs recently (a new non-written resolution of mine, to keep up with blogs I like) and I discovered a few great pearls of wisdom about what is important about making resolutions.

Practical: 

On The Simple Mom's blog post on NY's resolutions, she discusses about the importance of creating habits and how much more effective that is than just making a whole entire resolution and hoping it will come to pass by the end of the year. The way to create lasting habits is to start with one small step at a time. I should know that, but an eager 'eater' like myself, I tend to bite off more than I can chew. My first habit change should be choosing smaller bites, and not just when it comes to food. I am not sure how I will start with this, but I am going to try for the next few weeks to focus on one thing that I want to do, and make sure I take small steps. For example, even though this is definitely not a top priority, this coming week I have decided to just let myself get my Homemaking Notebook in order. I'll share more about this and all the free printables and ideas about creating one I found online. All the information about them was a good thing as well as not so good, because now how do I simplify and create what I need from all those ideas? Well, I'll let you know how I've worked it out later on! My main challenge will be to NOT waste time finding the 'perfect' little design to print for my cover!

Inspirational:

 Another great thought comes from this mom at Inspired to Action who is actually learning about 'getting things done' from her seven year old, who read the entire Bible in less than a year. I am so impressed as well as so utterly challenged and convicted! How did she do it? Simply by doing it, one page at a time, anytime she could (choosing to read the Bible in her free time over other things). The main thing that hit me is that she didn't talk about wanting to do it. She just started doing it. It was something just for her to think about and not to talk about with others (wanting to have something to 'show' like I might have done). I have a cousin as well as a sister who seem to get things done all the time, finishing what they have started. I have always thought that they have a gift. Perhaps it's also because they just don't waste time talking about things and just do them!Perhaps if I would follow that example and not blog about all I want to do.... 

Resolutions....to do it or not

Resolutions: the bad and ugly:
For the past few years, especially since Jman was born, I would have written a list of personal resolutions for the new year: lose weight, get organized in my routines and at home, have a set time to read the Bible and pray, etc. And this year it would be the same (well, the lose weight would have to wait for another six months), but I have not wanted to because it makes me feel bad.
 In the past I have gotten started on my resolutions, but then I stop, sometimes starting back again, and then stopping again. For good. Something happens. It can be an illness, a couple days out of town and I am blown off course, but honestly it's because I lose stamina and sheer will. I don't have the passion to go on. However, the more and more I think about my resolutions and the way I approach them is this: I am very good at planning what I need to do and getting all sorts of ideas to 'better' myself and implement my goals: I get all the books I can find at the library, find more online, buy new day planners, get them all in order...but it's actually DOING it that just is so hard! And then I feel like a failure. So right now I do not like resolutions because everyday I am thinking of things I have to resolve, in me, my children, my home....and it's enough to make me feel like I never get anything done.





The good and best thought about resolutions- the truth of why I keep failing:
 Typically when I think of new year's resolutions I am thinking of external changes, what I want to "see" or "do" differently. But there is another side to resolutions, and it's the most important one. Wanting to start "fresh" and "new" has spiritual implications. Part of us, our souls, yearns for more, desires more for us, for our life.

 For I hear Him, the One who strives to get my attention, day after day, saying to me, and from the beginning of time, that I want the wrong things, I am going about it the wrong way! The things I want to change around me are not the most important usually, nor are they the ones that will bring me true happiness and peace. The truth is that my resolutions seem to always fall through because they are rooted in my own selfish desires. I desire my own perfectness, and not God's. Even reading His Word is about being 'better" at being Christian, and that is not what I want and believe Christian to mean- it is simply who I am by Grace. Nothing I can or could ever do. I had written, months ago now,a short little note that I kept as a word document on my computer:

Seek peace, not perfection. Perfection is not peace. We think we will have peace when we arrive to what we believe will be perfection (a perfect body? a perfect house? perfect spouse and kids? a perfect me?) whereas we won't ever achieve that and thus live without peace....

Ps. 34:14 "Seek peace and pursue it"

Peace is a gift God wants to give, a fruit of His Spirit

 My resolutions fail not only because I am trying to do it all by myself, but it's all about myself! I need to be about His kingdom, and not about a perfectly synchronized house routine and wonderfully behaved children (that reflect how wonderfully I am.) My first resolution must be not about me but about Him. And perhaps I won't need resolutions anymore, for He will take care of 'all the rest':

So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matt. 6:31-33

 So to all those making resolutions, like myself, and hoping for a better year: seek first His kingdom. And take it one day at a time!

 Peace be with you.

Family Update

So, how have we been doing? Well...good! I'd love to give a whole year's worth of updating, and maybe I will (so I can get a chance and look back at all that I've been blessed with!). For now I will start with a general update about us.

J-man, our four year old, is a superhero in training! He prays every night for superhero powers and thanks God for his super heart. He is learning that Jesus is a superhero, has lots of questions about God, but knows that he cannot see Him but He does live in his heart. We love to hear his prayers, although they might be a tad self-centered, they are still pure and filled with such child expectations. He will stop in the middle of things and pray "please, please God make it snow!" I definitely want to encourage him to keep asking God anytime, anywhere for anything....even if we might not know what His answer will be. I know I want to because I need to do the same thing. On  the other hand he is the one who can truly test my patience and drive me up a wall. He has a strong will, is still stubborn and independent, making 'obey mommy now' a test each time. I have so much to learn about being their 'character' coach, and helping him grow, but I humble in realizing how much good they are learning without me really making sure they do! That is because I am blessed with smart and loving children, and a very gracious God.

 Liv is our little 'just turned two year old girl. She is not a baby anymore, though I might want to call her that still! Her personality is coming out more and more each day. She still loves her pacifier (aka 'ciuccio', the Italian word for it that sounds like 'choo choo') but it's only at bed time now. Plus she knows she is a big girl, because she can tell you and talk to you about it! She talks in full sentences most of the time and it's just so precious to hear her put together a sentence to describe what she has seen or heard or what she might want. She is also our girl because she has already shown how she loves to help mommy put lotion on and watch her put on makeup at times. She enjoys sitting and playing with her toys more than Jman did at this age, but she still mostly follows him around and tries to do what he does (as well as annoy him by messing up his blocks or train tracks!). They truly love each other though, and often play and laugh together bringing me much joy. They also love being with people and get so excited when someone comes over. Though Liv will play the shy little mommy's girl and even fuss if I leave at times, she will immediately warm up and want to play and get to know someone. J-man has always loved being with others and will often ask about his friends.

 We really haven't had many outside the house activities lately, especially in the past few months, because everything kind of fell off the wagon when mommy (that is me) found out she was pregnant and very soon developed the tried and true 'first trimester' sickness. It was pretty rough this time around, even more than the last ones. I don't know if it was because it seem to last so long and for most of the day, or because I had two little ones to keep me busy, but I ended up spending two whole weeks away at relative's homes so that I could have some help with the kiddos. All that is in the past now, and though I don't have that much energy in me most times (not that I had a huge reserve before!) it is so much better not having to battle nausea all the time. I am slowly getting back into the flow of things (cooking our own meals and cleaning up, though not as thoroughly as I want to yet) at home as well as getting to participate in some social activities (and boy was I hungry for fellowship!), which was great timing being Christmas! So the biggest news for us is that a precious little new babe is coming sometime in June. I am showing pretty big already and just very thankful for this new little miracle, hoping and praying God will keep giving me the stamina and the strength to be my best, as well as peace for the rest of this pregnancy and beyond. I am not sure how crazy it will be with three little ones, but I am sure we will love it!

 Finally, let me brag some about my husband. I am constantly amazde how much he does for us in terms of work and providing for us, and still has such a great attitude and takes time to be with us at home, playing and enjoying the kids, even helping me with the housework! He is now actually working a second job, early early in the mornings. He has a paper route with the local newspaper and also throws some Wall Street Journals. He works from about 1:30 to 6 am most mornings and then goes to work around 8:30 and comes back at 6. His paper route is only Tue. through Sat. so he does get some mornings off, still I can't believe how hard he works! I know how blessed I am to have such a supportive and hard-working man! Especially one who doesn't even complain...I've got to learn some from him now :) His 'real' job is going wonderfully. He is a true software developer and has grown both in confidence and knowledge in his field. The best part is that he really loves what he is doing and learning, and his company is just terrific. I got to get together with all of his co-workers and bosses for a Christmas party and I was again reminded what a wonderful group of people they all are, truly a blessing for both of us. It got us thinking more about our future. We had not plan to move here when he was finishing up his degree back in 2008, but now that we are so blessed with this job we are considering settling in for longer. There are no mountain ranges or beautiful seashores to walk, something we have always dreamed of, especially hubby who is less of a city person than I am, but the fact that my husband job is something he really likes makes all the difference. So for the first time in our married life we are starting to feel, well, more grown up and settled!

 That was a bit more information maybe, but I hope that you enjoyed reading about what life is for us right now. There is lots more of course, but that will be shared in smaller doses throughout the coming year!

I am back!

Hello blog world~ I have decided to come back and let my thoughts drift out into cyberspace!
 I know that I have disappointed some (namely myself) when it comes to blogging. I started this blog, well, around he time our little man was born,  and it's gotten harder to keep up with anything that was 'just for mommy now' ever since!
I had started over a year ago a private blog on a website hubby was creating, where each reader had to create a username and password, . Well, that website is no longer and neither is there a need to log in with passwords. I did keep the newer blog title, and change the look as well as a few other thing for a fresh start.

 From time to time there will be family pictures to share, however I am going to use nicknames for the kids and refrain from posting stuff that gives too much information about us. Most of my family and friends know how to find me "in real life" (which is still my favorite way to be with people!)- this is just a place to share a bit more from my heart than those simple Facebook status updates!

P.S. For the grammar purist out there, and anyone who loves simple and correct English writing, please be patient with me. I am ever so rusty with my writing. I hope that this will actually give me the 'umph' I need to practice my language and writing skills and better myself in those areas.

What I plan to do about blogging

I have a feeling no one is reading this blog anymore since it has been dormant for almost a year! A year ago I was already writing pretty sproradically and since our precious little girl has arrived and we have had big changes with that, a new job, a new move, I am realizing the time has come for me to seriously think about letting this blog 'go'. It has been a fun experiment for me and I am thankful for those of you who have commented, letting me virtually share my thoughts and ideas with you, a wonderful modern way to stay connected with others around the world. I still desire to keep a blog, a virtual journal, but my 'free' time is limited these days with two small children. Since we have family and friends so far away, across the ocean in many instances, like my own parents, I am planning on creating a more family news blog to keep my family and friends, near and far, updated. I used to think I wanted to keep blogging for my intelectual pursuits, but I come to realize that sometimes  I just need to share what my life is, especially since right now God is calling me to be more of  a "Martha" than a "Mary"- I might be a Mary at heart, but my season is at the home, tending to the domesticity of life. Of course, for those who know me, there will be lots of soul searching as I learn to grow in my roles with a young family!

 However I have come to realize that a more personal blog is better left either anonymous or kept protected with a password since I do not wish to share details of my life with the world. I am also hoping that I can further reach out through blogging on specific interests and subjects once I have a good routine and more night sleep! If there is anyone of you out there who is not in my immediate family and circle of friends who wishes to 'follow' my life story please post a comment and I will get in contact with you about it. And if not, I wish you the best wherever your journey leads you!

Greed and the Economic Crisis

I really appreciated NPR bringing up the subject of greed a few weeks ago when the 'crisis' was still fresh and new. not just of the Wall-Steet CEOs, of the rich owners, but even of us, regular everyday people, who go out and spend what we don't have or desire things, well, too much and to our own risk. This is somethingI don't hear many of us church-goers speaking of. Yet materialism and greed is a huge stumbling block, not just to us, but to others outside our faith and it shows. Perhaps we don't want to feel guilty. After all it feels better not to. This makes me think of our pre-school minister, coming up to us in a big class and addressing the need for more teachers for the pre-school, nursery age. She asked the usual if anybody felt called to lead and serve this way, if it was placed on their heart, or if we felt guilty "I can work with that!" she said. I think God can to. I don't think God is not wanting us to enjoy gifts, that sometimes come in the form of material posession (money), but we can't be ruled by them (can't serve God and Money). If our life revolves around the acquiring of a home, a posession, the ability to have more money, then yes, we are being ruled by it. Here is something Max Lucado wrote about these events that was put on our church bulletin:

You Have Our Attention Lord (oct. 08)
Our friends lost their houseThe co-worker lost her jobThe couple next door lost their retirementIt seems that everyone is losing their footingThis scares us. This bailout with billions.These rumblings of depression.These headlines: ominous, thunderous -“Going Broke!” “Going Down!” “Going Under!” “What's Next?”What is next?We’re listening. And we’re admitting: You were right.

You told us this would happen.You shot straight about loving stuff and worshipping money.Greed will break your heart, You warned.Money will love you and leave you.Don’t put your hope in riches that are so uncertain.You were right. Money is a fickle lover and we just got dumped.We were wrong to spend what we didn’t have.

Wrong to neglect prayer and ignore the poor.Wrong to think we ever earned a dime. We didn’t. You gave it. And now, tell us Father, are You taking it?We’re listening. And we’re praying.Could you make something good out of this mess?Of course You can. You always have.

You led slaves out of slavery,Built temples out of ruins,Turned stormy waves into a glassy pond and water into sweet wine.This disorder awaits your order. So do we.

My "voting" guide for this election

Actually this isn't my 'voting' guide, but my life guide! I do believe it is so much more important for the Kingdom of Heaven, to whom I give all my allegiance, how I act outside of the voting booth. That is where my values and beliefs are truly tested and that is where I can actually make an immediate and concrete difference in the lives of others. This is taken from Matthew 25:

34"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world.
35For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'

Shanti namaste

I've been doing prenatal yoga for the past few months and LOVE it! It is so relaxing and I enjoying the deep rhytmic breathing. I think it will help a lot in terms of getting ready for labor and delivery. I have noticed in the past a tendency for some people at church to question if yoga is something we should involve in. Some want to change words and formats, sort of like we do with 'praise workouts' and no, there is nothing wrong with that per se, but I wonder how many know what these easter words really mean. Because if they did maybe it wouldn't be so bad. The word "Namaste", which is what you do when you put your hands together as in prayer next to your heart center, means "I honor the spirit in you" (there are obviously differences to this, but the bottom live is that it is an honoring, respectful greeting you give one another). I find it wonderful that many easter cultures have always realized that there is a spiritual truth, dimension to a life, an eternal one, whereas its western counterparts in which I have grown up do not ever aknowledge those, if they do they seem to look at it in lesser ways, not as important as the material and temporal aspect of life. And everyone has a spirit made by God that dwells in them, and that spirit, that person is important to Him. I do 'honor' that.
Our instructor happens to be Christian so often she speaks about God, how he made our bodies to bare children, etc. Obviously that is not always the case, many instructors are not Christian and they see yoga as an alternative spirituality, one that focus on the 'divine self', perhaps, (what we call new age?). However, that is not necessarily how yoga started. Sure, I do belive the easter practice is not Christian per se, but even in the Bible I see Paul and other missionaries always pointing to what there is in common "You have a statue for an 'unkonwn God' ...let me tell you who this God is!" I think learnign about other cultures, with an open mind, ready to see light and hope in some aspect of their lives (like missionaries in Africa, sorry don't remembe rthe names and exact story, but those who were trying to reach out to these very violent and blood thirsty tribes who always fought each other, and finally seeing a way when they learned of their 'peace child' practice) is a more sure way to not only effectively reach and love others, but to grow ourselves in love and grace. I grew up in a 'foreign' country (well not to me! America has been the most 'foreign' so far) and with parents who loved to learn about others and their cultures and places, so I know it makes it easier for me. But we should not 'fear' the foreign, the different. If at first it sounds wrong, perhaps evil and sinister, let's find out for sure, for ourselves. Let us not take 'hear say', especially if these people haven't really done their research themselves. Knowledge and wisdom go hand in hand.
So Shanti (peace to you) namaste, may you find God's hands even in the most unlikely of places.

about my posting routine

I wish I had a 'regular' posting routine, a time that I devote to 'journaling' online, sharing my journey of life, as ordinary as it may seem at times, but full, that's for sure. I would love for God to make this into some kind of 'beacon' of hope and love, some kind of 'ministry' to bless others and I have prayed about it....like "God what do you want me to do of the blog? uhm... what should I name it ('cause it is all in the name, haha!)" I have often been frustrated by the lack of 'consistancy' in writing as well as a more consistant theme. (I know, there are way bigger things to get frustrated at! It makes me laugh to think abou it now!)
Well, I have recently learned that you must 'budget' time just as you need to budget money, if you wish to save and have a plenty. The other thing I have learned is that, honestly, as much as I love the form of writing and journaling, this is not a priority, at least not through this kind of medium (the internet). Others, my IRL relationships and responsabilities definitely take a prioritiy, and I hope always will. And with working a couple of days a week, waking up early and have an appointment with God and just taking care of the house, my hubby, my very wonderfully active and alive two year old and every other little detail...well, there is very little left! I have come to accept that this is not a season in life for me where I can spend hours on hours reading, writing, even praying, meditaing and reading from the Bible. Jman often finds me on the couch reading the Bible when he first wakes up and yes, I put it down, talk and cuddle him, ask him if he slept well and let him jibber jabber into his first morning thoughts. It is a special time and I know God understands and wants me to nurture him even if I just got a little bit of time with the Nurturer himself. Come December you can rest assured you will hear from me even more infrenquently!
I have to accept this. After all I prayed to be a mom and I am so thankful for this gift, and I have to seize it now. Even if it is draining and difficult at times, everyone seems to know it will go by so fast and I want to make most of it. I have found myself calmer even with 40 minutes of 'quiet time', that small portion of time where I am by myself, able to think, pray, journal, read, and ask God to keep making it real for me, making faith my way of life, I find myself at peace. It is hard for me to pinpoint how these two go together, but I have noticed a difference in myself, how less anxious I am about things, and how I try and not get things done just because "I have to" attitude, but because I can, I want to and I want to bless others. I look at Jeremiah and am learning to love him in spite of all the stuborness and little will 'fights' he starts up daily if not hourly. Or maybe it's me as well!

So no, there is no posting routine on this web diary. And that is how it is going to be for a while. Eventually I will probably be able to 'budget' some time for it, after budgeting for all the other important stuff. And, Lord willing, for us all, I will get straight to the point, so my posts will be short and sweet ;)

A free book

Weak and weary mom is giving away a free book. I am putting my 'name' in the hat. Here is the link to her post.

Now for an update on the baby

Some have asked, so here is the news: it looks like a ...........GIRL!
We are so thankful that with the ultrasound everything looked good and I am thankful for every stronger and stronger kick I feel, saying "Wow, am I really expecting another baby? Am I again to be so blessed?" Most days I dont' have much time to really sit and contemplate my pregnant status or day dream about our future with another little child. I do think about it, but most of the times I am really busy running around a very active and energy-filled toddler, who gives me plenty to do.
I am very thankful for our little girl and can't wait to see her. I am still sometimes in shock that it is a girl! Mostly I just pray for her health and for my peace of mind as I await her arrival around the second week of December. And say a million thanks for this answer to prayer. Sometimes I can't believe I am mom! Thank you God! And thank you, for your love, and support, and prayers.

Christian self-obsessions link with consumerism

Although many will read Rapture Ready! and walk away disgusted with how American capitalism has contaminated our churches I think that might be missing the point. Mistaking the symptom for the underlying disease. And I think the disease is not materialism or consumerism but the underlying neuroses governing much of American Christianity and modern life generally. The shopping is driven by the neurosis. And this neurosis is largely the product of American leisure time, the luxury of having time to obsess about ourselves. If the brain doesn't have an external task to focus on it turns inward and we grow, as they say, self-conscious.

What, then, is the answer? None come simply to mind, just a suggestion about where to start. The problem, as I see it, isn’t “materialism” or capitalism but the neurotic core of modern life. And it’s not just a Christian problem, most Americans are infected by it. As Radosh notes, secular pop culture isn't much better than Christian pop culture (think Paris Hilton). Thus, you attempt to “fix” the excesses of pop Christian consumption by reconfiguring the self-image and psychology of American Christians. Jesus, famously, said he had no home, no pillow to rest his head on at night. This might be read as a renunciation of wealth, but I see it as a facet of Jesus’ non-neurotic personality. He could live simply and for others because, at some deep level, he just didn't care. Didn’t obsess about his hair or how “effective” he was (and how Seven Habits might help). You turn your back on consumerism only when you turn your back on self-consciously obsessing. To live with less or to shun fashion (Christian or secular) is difficult for psychological and social rather than economic reasons. To stop caring about what people think is the great achievement, one lauded not only by Jesus but by all the great moral and religious thinkers. True freedom is being free of the neurotic web of society.


This is just the ending of Dr. Richard Beck's post, which is mostly a review of a book entitled "Rapture Ready!" on pop-Christianity (or American Christianity, something I had come to know b/c all my Christian "stuff" had to come from my grandparents in America while growing up).

This was a really good read to me and I wold recommend you checking it out.
Recently I have been trying to implement a new approach in order to hopefully stick to a regular habit of meeting with God in prayer on a much more regular basis. But from thinking (obsessing?) about that, I started worrying and obsessing (despite praying for it) about the status of my faith and my struggle to trust God, and especially how He answers prayer (if any of you know my past you know why this is particularly hard). After reading Beck's post I had to laugh at myself. Perhaps it might have seemed a spiritual pursuit, but there is a lot of 'self' obession really. Trusting God doesn't mean I have to have it 'all together', but that is what I usually pursue. I want to know the whys and the becauses of how God works, not just know Him. In short I am pursuing what I think will give me peace of mind. Of course it is more complicated than that, but I believe one reason I obesses about 'my faith' and when will I be finally really 'in faith' and free of doubt, because the tendency of the church in the states is to focus on our personal journeys, focusing on how to 'be better, get better, feel better' in a very self-help way. I am not saying counseling and specific ministries are wrong at all, but sometimes it can fuel self-obession than release us from it. The idea that I have to 'feel faith' in order to know all is okay with me and God is an obession I must give up in order to perhaps really receive faith that I need.

I work in a small Christian retail store, and for some things I can tell a difference in the business. But not at all times. It is still a business, after all, and not a ministry. And although I love books, there are so many out there that are just a self-help book with a faith twist (like Dr. Beck says in his next post, using Joel Osteen's book as an example). There is nothing wrong in this. What is wrong is what consumerism masks, something that I had not realized and Dr. Beck pointed out: our neurosis! Our letting ourselves obsess and obsess about issues. I know I do this! I obesses about parenting, and God knows I have worried about which parenting philosophy I should follow; I have obssessed about my 'routines', like I mentioned for prayer, but also for homekeeping, for all sorts of stuff. I obesses about how to be the best, how to deal with my obsessions themselves, like not feeling I have the faith I want.
The bottom line is that I (we?) make a big deal about stuff, about life as it concernes ourselves, as it matters to me- we are born self-centered after all, and learning to stop thinking only in terms of self is what means to "die to self and put on Christ."
Christianity, God, my faith cannot just simply be therapy, a means for me to 'feel better; be happier." Yet too many times I have approched it that way. And often I feel that the church itself approaches it that way. My precious dh the other day, after I was recounting him how I had a good 'prayer' morning the day before, but that day I was plagued by sorrowful feelings between me and God he just simply told me "You shouldn't go to God in prayer just expecting good feelings all the time." As if God was my 'quick-fix' before I start the day. He is a person! He is not there to just please me...oh, yeah, it's the other way around! I am supposed to please Him!

I have yet to buy a new Bible. I have thought of it, and obesses about it also, since I have worked in a place that sells Bibles. Do I need a new compact Bible to bring with me in my purse? Or a new study Bible? Which kind? How about one with large margins? I can get a new devotional Bible just for women, or just for moms....the list goes on and on. I think somewhere between checking for the best prices and listing pro and cons of the various 'type' of Bibles I thought....well, if I am NOT even reading and using the 'old' ones I have at home, then it really doesn't matter.

And so now I am going to use what I have and be at peace with that. Though the study Bible I have doesn't meet all my needs, God knows what I need and even with my small struggling faith I will trust Him for that.