I wish I had a 'regular' posting routine, a time that I devote to 'journaling' online, sharing my journey of life, as ordinary as it may seem at times, but full, that's for sure. I would love for God to make this into some kind of 'beacon' of hope and love, some kind of 'ministry' to bless others and I have prayed about it....like "God what do you want me to do of the blog? uhm... what should I name it ('cause it is all in the name, haha!)" I have often been frustrated by the lack of 'consistancy' in writing as well as a more consistant theme. (I know, there are way bigger things to get frustrated at! It makes me laugh to think abou it now!)
Well, I have recently learned that you must 'budget' time just as you need to budget money, if you wish to save and have a plenty. The other thing I have learned is that, honestly, as much as I love the form of writing and journaling, this is not a priority, at least not through this kind of medium (the internet). Others, my IRL relationships and responsabilities definitely take a prioritiy, and I hope always will. And with working a couple of days a week, waking up early and have an appointment with God and just taking care of the house, my hubby, my very wonderfully active and alive two year old and every other little detail...well, there is very little left! I have come to accept that this is not a season in life for me where I can spend hours on hours reading, writing, even praying, meditaing and reading from the Bible. Jman often finds me on the couch reading the Bible when he first wakes up and yes, I put it down, talk and cuddle him, ask him if he slept well and let him jibber jabber into his first morning thoughts. It is a special time and I know God understands and wants me to nurture him even if I just got a little bit of time with the Nurturer himself. Come December you can rest assured you will hear from me even more infrenquently!
I have to accept this. After all I prayed to be a mom and I am so thankful for this gift, and I have to seize it now. Even if it is draining and difficult at times, everyone seems to know it will go by so fast and I want to make most of it. I have found myself calmer even with 40 minutes of 'quiet time', that small portion of time where I am by myself, able to think, pray, journal, read, and ask God to keep making it real for me, making faith my way of life, I find myself at peace. It is hard for me to pinpoint how these two go together, but I have noticed a difference in myself, how less anxious I am about things, and how I try and not get things done just because "I have to" attitude, but because I can, I want to and I want to bless others. I look at Jeremiah and am learning to love him in spite of all the stuborness and little will 'fights' he starts up daily if not hourly. Or maybe it's me as well!
So no, there is no posting routine on this web diary. And that is how it is going to be for a while. Eventually I will probably be able to 'budget' some time for it, after budgeting for all the other important stuff. And, Lord willing, for us all, I will get straight to the point, so my posts will be short and sweet ;)