Shanti namaste

I've been doing prenatal yoga for the past few months and LOVE it! It is so relaxing and I enjoying the deep rhytmic breathing. I think it will help a lot in terms of getting ready for labor and delivery. I have noticed in the past a tendency for some people at church to question if yoga is something we should involve in. Some want to change words and formats, sort of like we do with 'praise workouts' and no, there is nothing wrong with that per se, but I wonder how many know what these easter words really mean. Because if they did maybe it wouldn't be so bad. The word "Namaste", which is what you do when you put your hands together as in prayer next to your heart center, means "I honor the spirit in you" (there are obviously differences to this, but the bottom live is that it is an honoring, respectful greeting you give one another). I find it wonderful that many easter cultures have always realized that there is a spiritual truth, dimension to a life, an eternal one, whereas its western counterparts in which I have grown up do not ever aknowledge those, if they do they seem to look at it in lesser ways, not as important as the material and temporal aspect of life. And everyone has a spirit made by God that dwells in them, and that spirit, that person is important to Him. I do 'honor' that.
Our instructor happens to be Christian so often she speaks about God, how he made our bodies to bare children, etc. Obviously that is not always the case, many instructors are not Christian and they see yoga as an alternative spirituality, one that focus on the 'divine self', perhaps, (what we call new age?). However, that is not necessarily how yoga started. Sure, I do belive the easter practice is not Christian per se, but even in the Bible I see Paul and other missionaries always pointing to what there is in common "You have a statue for an 'unkonwn God' ...let me tell you who this God is!" I think learnign about other cultures, with an open mind, ready to see light and hope in some aspect of their lives (like missionaries in Africa, sorry don't remembe rthe names and exact story, but those who were trying to reach out to these very violent and blood thirsty tribes who always fought each other, and finally seeing a way when they learned of their 'peace child' practice) is a more sure way to not only effectively reach and love others, but to grow ourselves in love and grace. I grew up in a 'foreign' country (well not to me! America has been the most 'foreign' so far) and with parents who loved to learn about others and their cultures and places, so I know it makes it easier for me. But we should not 'fear' the foreign, the different. If at first it sounds wrong, perhaps evil and sinister, let's find out for sure, for ourselves. Let us not take 'hear say', especially if these people haven't really done their research themselves. Knowledge and wisdom go hand in hand.
So Shanti (peace to you) namaste, may you find God's hands even in the most unlikely of places.

about my posting routine

I wish I had a 'regular' posting routine, a time that I devote to 'journaling' online, sharing my journey of life, as ordinary as it may seem at times, but full, that's for sure. I would love for God to make this into some kind of 'beacon' of hope and love, some kind of 'ministry' to bless others and I have prayed about it....like "God what do you want me to do of the blog? uhm... what should I name it ('cause it is all in the name, haha!)" I have often been frustrated by the lack of 'consistancy' in writing as well as a more consistant theme. (I know, there are way bigger things to get frustrated at! It makes me laugh to think abou it now!)
Well, I have recently learned that you must 'budget' time just as you need to budget money, if you wish to save and have a plenty. The other thing I have learned is that, honestly, as much as I love the form of writing and journaling, this is not a priority, at least not through this kind of medium (the internet). Others, my IRL relationships and responsabilities definitely take a prioritiy, and I hope always will. And with working a couple of days a week, waking up early and have an appointment with God and just taking care of the house, my hubby, my very wonderfully active and alive two year old and every other little detail...well, there is very little left! I have come to accept that this is not a season in life for me where I can spend hours on hours reading, writing, even praying, meditaing and reading from the Bible. Jman often finds me on the couch reading the Bible when he first wakes up and yes, I put it down, talk and cuddle him, ask him if he slept well and let him jibber jabber into his first morning thoughts. It is a special time and I know God understands and wants me to nurture him even if I just got a little bit of time with the Nurturer himself. Come December you can rest assured you will hear from me even more infrenquently!
I have to accept this. After all I prayed to be a mom and I am so thankful for this gift, and I have to seize it now. Even if it is draining and difficult at times, everyone seems to know it will go by so fast and I want to make most of it. I have found myself calmer even with 40 minutes of 'quiet time', that small portion of time where I am by myself, able to think, pray, journal, read, and ask God to keep making it real for me, making faith my way of life, I find myself at peace. It is hard for me to pinpoint how these two go together, but I have noticed a difference in myself, how less anxious I am about things, and how I try and not get things done just because "I have to" attitude, but because I can, I want to and I want to bless others. I look at Jeremiah and am learning to love him in spite of all the stuborness and little will 'fights' he starts up daily if not hourly. Or maybe it's me as well!

So no, there is no posting routine on this web diary. And that is how it is going to be for a while. Eventually I will probably be able to 'budget' some time for it, after budgeting for all the other important stuff. And, Lord willing, for us all, I will get straight to the point, so my posts will be short and sweet ;)

A free book

Weak and weary mom is giving away a free book. I am putting my 'name' in the hat. Here is the link to her post.

Now for an update on the baby

Some have asked, so here is the news: it looks like a ...........GIRL!
We are so thankful that with the ultrasound everything looked good and I am thankful for every stronger and stronger kick I feel, saying "Wow, am I really expecting another baby? Am I again to be so blessed?" Most days I dont' have much time to really sit and contemplate my pregnant status or day dream about our future with another little child. I do think about it, but most of the times I am really busy running around a very active and energy-filled toddler, who gives me plenty to do.
I am very thankful for our little girl and can't wait to see her. I am still sometimes in shock that it is a girl! Mostly I just pray for her health and for my peace of mind as I await her arrival around the second week of December. And say a million thanks for this answer to prayer. Sometimes I can't believe I am mom! Thank you God! And thank you, for your love, and support, and prayers.

Christian self-obsessions link with consumerism

Although many will read Rapture Ready! and walk away disgusted with how American capitalism has contaminated our churches I think that might be missing the point. Mistaking the symptom for the underlying disease. And I think the disease is not materialism or consumerism but the underlying neuroses governing much of American Christianity and modern life generally. The shopping is driven by the neurosis. And this neurosis is largely the product of American leisure time, the luxury of having time to obsess about ourselves. If the brain doesn't have an external task to focus on it turns inward and we grow, as they say, self-conscious.

What, then, is the answer? None come simply to mind, just a suggestion about where to start. The problem, as I see it, isn’t “materialism” or capitalism but the neurotic core of modern life. And it’s not just a Christian problem, most Americans are infected by it. As Radosh notes, secular pop culture isn't much better than Christian pop culture (think Paris Hilton). Thus, you attempt to “fix” the excesses of pop Christian consumption by reconfiguring the self-image and psychology of American Christians. Jesus, famously, said he had no home, no pillow to rest his head on at night. This might be read as a renunciation of wealth, but I see it as a facet of Jesus’ non-neurotic personality. He could live simply and for others because, at some deep level, he just didn't care. Didn’t obsess about his hair or how “effective” he was (and how Seven Habits might help). You turn your back on consumerism only when you turn your back on self-consciously obsessing. To live with less or to shun fashion (Christian or secular) is difficult for psychological and social rather than economic reasons. To stop caring about what people think is the great achievement, one lauded not only by Jesus but by all the great moral and religious thinkers. True freedom is being free of the neurotic web of society.


This is just the ending of Dr. Richard Beck's post, which is mostly a review of a book entitled "Rapture Ready!" on pop-Christianity (or American Christianity, something I had come to know b/c all my Christian "stuff" had to come from my grandparents in America while growing up).

This was a really good read to me and I wold recommend you checking it out.
Recently I have been trying to implement a new approach in order to hopefully stick to a regular habit of meeting with God in prayer on a much more regular basis. But from thinking (obsessing?) about that, I started worrying and obsessing (despite praying for it) about the status of my faith and my struggle to trust God, and especially how He answers prayer (if any of you know my past you know why this is particularly hard). After reading Beck's post I had to laugh at myself. Perhaps it might have seemed a spiritual pursuit, but there is a lot of 'self' obession really. Trusting God doesn't mean I have to have it 'all together', but that is what I usually pursue. I want to know the whys and the becauses of how God works, not just know Him. In short I am pursuing what I think will give me peace of mind. Of course it is more complicated than that, but I believe one reason I obesses about 'my faith' and when will I be finally really 'in faith' and free of doubt, because the tendency of the church in the states is to focus on our personal journeys, focusing on how to 'be better, get better, feel better' in a very self-help way. I am not saying counseling and specific ministries are wrong at all, but sometimes it can fuel self-obession than release us from it. The idea that I have to 'feel faith' in order to know all is okay with me and God is an obession I must give up in order to perhaps really receive faith that I need.

I work in a small Christian retail store, and for some things I can tell a difference in the business. But not at all times. It is still a business, after all, and not a ministry. And although I love books, there are so many out there that are just a self-help book with a faith twist (like Dr. Beck says in his next post, using Joel Osteen's book as an example). There is nothing wrong in this. What is wrong is what consumerism masks, something that I had not realized and Dr. Beck pointed out: our neurosis! Our letting ourselves obsess and obsess about issues. I know I do this! I obesses about parenting, and God knows I have worried about which parenting philosophy I should follow; I have obssessed about my 'routines', like I mentioned for prayer, but also for homekeeping, for all sorts of stuff. I obesses about how to be the best, how to deal with my obsessions themselves, like not feeling I have the faith I want.
The bottom line is that I (we?) make a big deal about stuff, about life as it concernes ourselves, as it matters to me- we are born self-centered after all, and learning to stop thinking only in terms of self is what means to "die to self and put on Christ."
Christianity, God, my faith cannot just simply be therapy, a means for me to 'feel better; be happier." Yet too many times I have approched it that way. And often I feel that the church itself approaches it that way. My precious dh the other day, after I was recounting him how I had a good 'prayer' morning the day before, but that day I was plagued by sorrowful feelings between me and God he just simply told me "You shouldn't go to God in prayer just expecting good feelings all the time." As if God was my 'quick-fix' before I start the day. He is a person! He is not there to just please me...oh, yeah, it's the other way around! I am supposed to please Him!

I have yet to buy a new Bible. I have thought of it, and obesses about it also, since I have worked in a place that sells Bibles. Do I need a new compact Bible to bring with me in my purse? Or a new study Bible? Which kind? How about one with large margins? I can get a new devotional Bible just for women, or just for moms....the list goes on and on. I think somewhere between checking for the best prices and listing pro and cons of the various 'type' of Bibles I thought....well, if I am NOT even reading and using the 'old' ones I have at home, then it really doesn't matter.

And so now I am going to use what I have and be at peace with that. Though the study Bible I have doesn't meet all my needs, God knows what I need and even with my small struggling faith I will trust Him for that.