What I plan to do about blogging

I have a feeling no one is reading this blog anymore since it has been dormant for almost a year! A year ago I was already writing pretty sproradically and since our precious little girl has arrived and we have had big changes with that, a new job, a new move, I am realizing the time has come for me to seriously think about letting this blog 'go'. It has been a fun experiment for me and I am thankful for those of you who have commented, letting me virtually share my thoughts and ideas with you, a wonderful modern way to stay connected with others around the world. I still desire to keep a blog, a virtual journal, but my 'free' time is limited these days with two small children. Since we have family and friends so far away, across the ocean in many instances, like my own parents, I am planning on creating a more family news blog to keep my family and friends, near and far, updated. I used to think I wanted to keep blogging for my intelectual pursuits, but I come to realize that sometimes  I just need to share what my life is, especially since right now God is calling me to be more of  a "Martha" than a "Mary"- I might be a Mary at heart, but my season is at the home, tending to the domesticity of life. Of course, for those who know me, there will be lots of soul searching as I learn to grow in my roles with a young family!

 However I have come to realize that a more personal blog is better left either anonymous or kept protected with a password since I do not wish to share details of my life with the world. I am also hoping that I can further reach out through blogging on specific interests and subjects once I have a good routine and more night sleep! If there is anyone of you out there who is not in my immediate family and circle of friends who wishes to 'follow' my life story please post a comment and I will get in contact with you about it. And if not, I wish you the best wherever your journey leads you!

Greed and the Economic Crisis

I really appreciated NPR bringing up the subject of greed a few weeks ago when the 'crisis' was still fresh and new. not just of the Wall-Steet CEOs, of the rich owners, but even of us, regular everyday people, who go out and spend what we don't have or desire things, well, too much and to our own risk. This is somethingI don't hear many of us church-goers speaking of. Yet materialism and greed is a huge stumbling block, not just to us, but to others outside our faith and it shows. Perhaps we don't want to feel guilty. After all it feels better not to. This makes me think of our pre-school minister, coming up to us in a big class and addressing the need for more teachers for the pre-school, nursery age. She asked the usual if anybody felt called to lead and serve this way, if it was placed on their heart, or if we felt guilty "I can work with that!" she said. I think God can to. I don't think God is not wanting us to enjoy gifts, that sometimes come in the form of material posession (money), but we can't be ruled by them (can't serve God and Money). If our life revolves around the acquiring of a home, a posession, the ability to have more money, then yes, we are being ruled by it. Here is something Max Lucado wrote about these events that was put on our church bulletin:

You Have Our Attention Lord (oct. 08)
Our friends lost their houseThe co-worker lost her jobThe couple next door lost their retirementIt seems that everyone is losing their footingThis scares us. This bailout with billions.These rumblings of depression.These headlines: ominous, thunderous -“Going Broke!” “Going Down!” “Going Under!” “What's Next?”What is next?We’re listening. And we’re admitting: You were right.

You told us this would happen.You shot straight about loving stuff and worshipping money.Greed will break your heart, You warned.Money will love you and leave you.Don’t put your hope in riches that are so uncertain.You were right. Money is a fickle lover and we just got dumped.We were wrong to spend what we didn’t have.

Wrong to neglect prayer and ignore the poor.Wrong to think we ever earned a dime. We didn’t. You gave it. And now, tell us Father, are You taking it?We’re listening. And we’re praying.Could you make something good out of this mess?Of course You can. You always have.

You led slaves out of slavery,Built temples out of ruins,Turned stormy waves into a glassy pond and water into sweet wine.This disorder awaits your order. So do we.

My "voting" guide for this election

Actually this isn't my 'voting' guide, but my life guide! I do believe it is so much more important for the Kingdom of Heaven, to whom I give all my allegiance, how I act outside of the voting booth. That is where my values and beliefs are truly tested and that is where I can actually make an immediate and concrete difference in the lives of others. This is taken from Matthew 25:

34"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world.
35For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'

Shanti namaste

I've been doing prenatal yoga for the past few months and LOVE it! It is so relaxing and I enjoying the deep rhytmic breathing. I think it will help a lot in terms of getting ready for labor and delivery. I have noticed in the past a tendency for some people at church to question if yoga is something we should involve in. Some want to change words and formats, sort of like we do with 'praise workouts' and no, there is nothing wrong with that per se, but I wonder how many know what these easter words really mean. Because if they did maybe it wouldn't be so bad. The word "Namaste", which is what you do when you put your hands together as in prayer next to your heart center, means "I honor the spirit in you" (there are obviously differences to this, but the bottom live is that it is an honoring, respectful greeting you give one another). I find it wonderful that many easter cultures have always realized that there is a spiritual truth, dimension to a life, an eternal one, whereas its western counterparts in which I have grown up do not ever aknowledge those, if they do they seem to look at it in lesser ways, not as important as the material and temporal aspect of life. And everyone has a spirit made by God that dwells in them, and that spirit, that person is important to Him. I do 'honor' that.
Our instructor happens to be Christian so often she speaks about God, how he made our bodies to bare children, etc. Obviously that is not always the case, many instructors are not Christian and they see yoga as an alternative spirituality, one that focus on the 'divine self', perhaps, (what we call new age?). However, that is not necessarily how yoga started. Sure, I do belive the easter practice is not Christian per se, but even in the Bible I see Paul and other missionaries always pointing to what there is in common "You have a statue for an 'unkonwn God' ...let me tell you who this God is!" I think learnign about other cultures, with an open mind, ready to see light and hope in some aspect of their lives (like missionaries in Africa, sorry don't remembe rthe names and exact story, but those who were trying to reach out to these very violent and blood thirsty tribes who always fought each other, and finally seeing a way when they learned of their 'peace child' practice) is a more sure way to not only effectively reach and love others, but to grow ourselves in love and grace. I grew up in a 'foreign' country (well not to me! America has been the most 'foreign' so far) and with parents who loved to learn about others and their cultures and places, so I know it makes it easier for me. But we should not 'fear' the foreign, the different. If at first it sounds wrong, perhaps evil and sinister, let's find out for sure, for ourselves. Let us not take 'hear say', especially if these people haven't really done their research themselves. Knowledge and wisdom go hand in hand.
So Shanti (peace to you) namaste, may you find God's hands even in the most unlikely of places.

about my posting routine

I wish I had a 'regular' posting routine, a time that I devote to 'journaling' online, sharing my journey of life, as ordinary as it may seem at times, but full, that's for sure. I would love for God to make this into some kind of 'beacon' of hope and love, some kind of 'ministry' to bless others and I have prayed about it....like "God what do you want me to do of the blog? uhm... what should I name it ('cause it is all in the name, haha!)" I have often been frustrated by the lack of 'consistancy' in writing as well as a more consistant theme. (I know, there are way bigger things to get frustrated at! It makes me laugh to think abou it now!)
Well, I have recently learned that you must 'budget' time just as you need to budget money, if you wish to save and have a plenty. The other thing I have learned is that, honestly, as much as I love the form of writing and journaling, this is not a priority, at least not through this kind of medium (the internet). Others, my IRL relationships and responsabilities definitely take a prioritiy, and I hope always will. And with working a couple of days a week, waking up early and have an appointment with God and just taking care of the house, my hubby, my very wonderfully active and alive two year old and every other little detail...well, there is very little left! I have come to accept that this is not a season in life for me where I can spend hours on hours reading, writing, even praying, meditaing and reading from the Bible. Jman often finds me on the couch reading the Bible when he first wakes up and yes, I put it down, talk and cuddle him, ask him if he slept well and let him jibber jabber into his first morning thoughts. It is a special time and I know God understands and wants me to nurture him even if I just got a little bit of time with the Nurturer himself. Come December you can rest assured you will hear from me even more infrenquently!
I have to accept this. After all I prayed to be a mom and I am so thankful for this gift, and I have to seize it now. Even if it is draining and difficult at times, everyone seems to know it will go by so fast and I want to make most of it. I have found myself calmer even with 40 minutes of 'quiet time', that small portion of time where I am by myself, able to think, pray, journal, read, and ask God to keep making it real for me, making faith my way of life, I find myself at peace. It is hard for me to pinpoint how these two go together, but I have noticed a difference in myself, how less anxious I am about things, and how I try and not get things done just because "I have to" attitude, but because I can, I want to and I want to bless others. I look at Jeremiah and am learning to love him in spite of all the stuborness and little will 'fights' he starts up daily if not hourly. Or maybe it's me as well!

So no, there is no posting routine on this web diary. And that is how it is going to be for a while. Eventually I will probably be able to 'budget' some time for it, after budgeting for all the other important stuff. And, Lord willing, for us all, I will get straight to the point, so my posts will be short and sweet ;)

A free book

Weak and weary mom is giving away a free book. I am putting my 'name' in the hat. Here is the link to her post.

Now for an update on the baby

Some have asked, so here is the news: it looks like a ...........GIRL!
We are so thankful that with the ultrasound everything looked good and I am thankful for every stronger and stronger kick I feel, saying "Wow, am I really expecting another baby? Am I again to be so blessed?" Most days I dont' have much time to really sit and contemplate my pregnant status or day dream about our future with another little child. I do think about it, but most of the times I am really busy running around a very active and energy-filled toddler, who gives me plenty to do.
I am very thankful for our little girl and can't wait to see her. I am still sometimes in shock that it is a girl! Mostly I just pray for her health and for my peace of mind as I await her arrival around the second week of December. And say a million thanks for this answer to prayer. Sometimes I can't believe I am mom! Thank you God! And thank you, for your love, and support, and prayers.

Christian self-obsessions link with consumerism

Although many will read Rapture Ready! and walk away disgusted with how American capitalism has contaminated our churches I think that might be missing the point. Mistaking the symptom for the underlying disease. And I think the disease is not materialism or consumerism but the underlying neuroses governing much of American Christianity and modern life generally. The shopping is driven by the neurosis. And this neurosis is largely the product of American leisure time, the luxury of having time to obsess about ourselves. If the brain doesn't have an external task to focus on it turns inward and we grow, as they say, self-conscious.

What, then, is the answer? None come simply to mind, just a suggestion about where to start. The problem, as I see it, isn’t “materialism” or capitalism but the neurotic core of modern life. And it’s not just a Christian problem, most Americans are infected by it. As Radosh notes, secular pop culture isn't much better than Christian pop culture (think Paris Hilton). Thus, you attempt to “fix” the excesses of pop Christian consumption by reconfiguring the self-image and psychology of American Christians. Jesus, famously, said he had no home, no pillow to rest his head on at night. This might be read as a renunciation of wealth, but I see it as a facet of Jesus’ non-neurotic personality. He could live simply and for others because, at some deep level, he just didn't care. Didn’t obsess about his hair or how “effective” he was (and how Seven Habits might help). You turn your back on consumerism only when you turn your back on self-consciously obsessing. To live with less or to shun fashion (Christian or secular) is difficult for psychological and social rather than economic reasons. To stop caring about what people think is the great achievement, one lauded not only by Jesus but by all the great moral and religious thinkers. True freedom is being free of the neurotic web of society.


This is just the ending of Dr. Richard Beck's post, which is mostly a review of a book entitled "Rapture Ready!" on pop-Christianity (or American Christianity, something I had come to know b/c all my Christian "stuff" had to come from my grandparents in America while growing up).

This was a really good read to me and I wold recommend you checking it out.
Recently I have been trying to implement a new approach in order to hopefully stick to a regular habit of meeting with God in prayer on a much more regular basis. But from thinking (obsessing?) about that, I started worrying and obsessing (despite praying for it) about the status of my faith and my struggle to trust God, and especially how He answers prayer (if any of you know my past you know why this is particularly hard). After reading Beck's post I had to laugh at myself. Perhaps it might have seemed a spiritual pursuit, but there is a lot of 'self' obession really. Trusting God doesn't mean I have to have it 'all together', but that is what I usually pursue. I want to know the whys and the becauses of how God works, not just know Him. In short I am pursuing what I think will give me peace of mind. Of course it is more complicated than that, but I believe one reason I obesses about 'my faith' and when will I be finally really 'in faith' and free of doubt, because the tendency of the church in the states is to focus on our personal journeys, focusing on how to 'be better, get better, feel better' in a very self-help way. I am not saying counseling and specific ministries are wrong at all, but sometimes it can fuel self-obession than release us from it. The idea that I have to 'feel faith' in order to know all is okay with me and God is an obession I must give up in order to perhaps really receive faith that I need.

I work in a small Christian retail store, and for some things I can tell a difference in the business. But not at all times. It is still a business, after all, and not a ministry. And although I love books, there are so many out there that are just a self-help book with a faith twist (like Dr. Beck says in his next post, using Joel Osteen's book as an example). There is nothing wrong in this. What is wrong is what consumerism masks, something that I had not realized and Dr. Beck pointed out: our neurosis! Our letting ourselves obsess and obsess about issues. I know I do this! I obesses about parenting, and God knows I have worried about which parenting philosophy I should follow; I have obssessed about my 'routines', like I mentioned for prayer, but also for homekeeping, for all sorts of stuff. I obesses about how to be the best, how to deal with my obsessions themselves, like not feeling I have the faith I want.
The bottom line is that I (we?) make a big deal about stuff, about life as it concernes ourselves, as it matters to me- we are born self-centered after all, and learning to stop thinking only in terms of self is what means to "die to self and put on Christ."
Christianity, God, my faith cannot just simply be therapy, a means for me to 'feel better; be happier." Yet too many times I have approched it that way. And often I feel that the church itself approaches it that way. My precious dh the other day, after I was recounting him how I had a good 'prayer' morning the day before, but that day I was plagued by sorrowful feelings between me and God he just simply told me "You shouldn't go to God in prayer just expecting good feelings all the time." As if God was my 'quick-fix' before I start the day. He is a person! He is not there to just please me...oh, yeah, it's the other way around! I am supposed to please Him!

I have yet to buy a new Bible. I have thought of it, and obesses about it also, since I have worked in a place that sells Bibles. Do I need a new compact Bible to bring with me in my purse? Or a new study Bible? Which kind? How about one with large margins? I can get a new devotional Bible just for women, or just for moms....the list goes on and on. I think somewhere between checking for the best prices and listing pro and cons of the various 'type' of Bibles I thought....well, if I am NOT even reading and using the 'old' ones I have at home, then it really doesn't matter.

And so now I am going to use what I have and be at peace with that. Though the study Bible I have doesn't meet all my needs, God knows what I need and even with my small struggling faith I will trust Him for that.

Home by Jeannie Baker

This is a book I picked up at the college library. It immediately caught my attention b/c it is a series of picture collages (I really like collages) that show the transformation of a shady, dirty and sad street in the city to a beautiful and wonderful vibrant and living community. There are no words but the author writes this at the end of the book:

In the past, "home" meant not just the building in which a person lived. "Home" embraced the street, the landmarks, and the special places in the neighborhood. Now many people throughout the world live in cities or urban communities and no longer feel a strong connection with the land on which these places are built. In some cities, however, communities are finding ways their streets can once again become part of people's sense of home and play a part in their sense of belonging. Many communities are working to bring back the variety of local native plants and animals that once lived there. People are discovering th need to nurture and to be nurtured by the unique character of the places where they live.
It takes time, as this book shows. But the choice is ours to make- having simply a place to live or, by understand the land and caring for it, belonging to a living home.

It truly inspired me b/c I sometimes have day dreamed about dh and I moving into an urban, perhaps even very urban setting. Often I would get this idea (from those around me) that I couldn't make a home, not with kids for sure, in a city. Too scary, too much crime, too messy...etc. I actually grew up very near if not practically in the city. And I loved it. I got to do a lot. There were parks, there were lots of walks downtown and in old town. I miss it. Of course that was (and is) a nice norther, not too big city in Italy.
I think for now dh and I plan to live outside of big cities, mostly b/c of cost of living since I will be staying home. Also b/c it is usually a nicer place for children, don't have to worry about traffic and such, kids can be out more, etc. But if we are ever to move into the city or, like I think of it, be called to reach out to inner city, I hope that I can make it my home.
Bottom line, no matter where I live, I hope I start planting seeds around me, bringing everything around my physical place of dwelling together. I think here in this very 'pro' individual society we forget that we are meant to live in community, that actually even the most introverted one of us thrives and lives better when living in harmony in community. Together we can do so much more for ourselves and the place we live in. It does start though with an individual's choice to reach out in small but tangible ways that everyone can benefit from.

P.S. I shared the 'amazon' link since you can view a few pages.

In case anyone still checks my blog....I've got some news

I sort of took a sabbatical. Not really, because I have nothing to show for it (like a novel manuscript on the way, or at least a clean house). Truth is I have no real internet connection at home and have been to lazy and tired to go out in the evenings (when the little tyke is in bed...a big boy bed now that his daddy made him one!) and connect with the universe through this medium. However, the fatigue (and nausea if you will) has a very good reason and has caused us celebration and rejoicing in spite of feeling 'ugh'. We are expecting another precious blessing sometime around Dec. 13 of this year! We are very thankful for this new little baby and we desire prayers for this baby's health and continued growth. I haven't been as nervous as I was with J-man and have made myself not play the 'what if' worry game- well, most of the times. I am trying to take it one day at a time (really one hour at a time thanks to my pukiness), after all what else can I do? I am not in control and must thank God for every day, every pregnancy symptom I experience, every new morning. I am so thankful to be so far and pray for 6 more months and a healthy child to hold in my arms.
I am right now about 12 weeks and so just a couple more before I will be in the second trimester and hopefully will have less of the unpleasant pregnancy side affects. Thank you all for your prayers for us and this little baby. I hope to be here a little more often once I get some energy back and enjoy the long summer days.
Have a good summer everyone!

So what to do about all that stuff?

(Found once again on "Story of Stuff" website)

Another Way

Many people who have seen The Story of Stuff have asked what they can do to address the problems identified in the film.

Each of us can promote sustainability and justice at multiple levels: as an individual, as a teacher or parent, a community member, a national citizen, and as a global citizen. As Annie says in the film, “the good thing about such an all pervasive problem is that there are so many points of intervention.” That means that there are lots and lots of places to plug in, to get involved, and to make a difference. There is no single simple thing to do, because the set of problems we’re addressing just isn’t simple. But everyone can make a difference, but the bigger your action the bigger the difference you’ll make. Here are some ideas:

10 Little and Big Things You Can Do

1. Power down! A great deal of the resources we use and the waste we create is in the energy we consume. Look for opportunities in your life to significantly reduce energy use: drive less, fly less, turn off lights, buy local seasonal food (food takes energy to grow, package, store and transport), wear a sweater instead of turning up the heat, use a clothesline instead of a dryer, vacation closer to home, buy used or borrow things before buying new, recycle. All these things save energy and save you money. And, if you can switch to alternative energy by supporting a company that sells green energy to the grid or by installing solar panels on your home, bravo!
2. Waste less. Per capita waste production in the U.S. just keeps growing. There are hundreds of opportunities each day to nurture a Zero Waste culture in your home, school, workplace, church, community. This takes developing new habits which soon become second nature. Use both sides of the paper, carry your own mugs and shopping bags, get printer cartridges refilled instead of replaced, compost food scraps, avoid bottled water and other over packaged products, upgrade computers rather than buying new ones, repair and mend rather than replace….the list is endless! The more we visibly engage in re-use over wasting, the more we cultivate a new cultural norm, or actually, reclaim an old one!
3. Talk to everyone about these issues. At school, your neighbors, in line at the supermarket, on the bus…A student once asked Cesar Chavez how he organized. He said, “First, I talk to one person. Then I talk to another person.” “No,” said the student, “how do you organize?” Chavez answered, “First I talk to one person. Then I talk to another person.” You get the point. Talking about these issues raises awareness, builds community and can inspire others to action.
4. Make Your Voice Heard. Write letters to the editor and submit articles to local press. In the last two years, and especially with Al Gore winning the Nobel Peace Prize, the media has been forced to write about Climate Change. As individuals, we can influence the media to better represent other important issues as well. Letters to the editor are a great way to help newspaper readers make connections they might not make without your help. Also local papers are often willing to print book and film reviews, interviews and articles by community members. Let’s get the issues we care about in the news.
5. DeTox your body, DeTox your home, and DeTox the Economy. Many of today’s consumer products – from children’s pajamas to lipstick – contain toxic chemical additives that simply aren’t necessary. Research online (for example, http://www.cosmeticsdatabase.com/) before you buy to be sure you’re not inadvertently introducing toxics into your home and body. Then tell your friends about toxics in consumer products. Together, ask the businesses why they’re using toxic chemicals without any warning labels. And ask your elected officials why they are permitting this practice. The European Union has adopted strong policies that require toxics to be removed from many products. So, while our electronic gadgets and cosmetics have toxics in them, people in Europe can buy the same things toxics-free. Let’s demand the same thing here. Getting the toxics out of production at the source is the best way to ensure they don’t get into any home and body.
6. Unplug (the TV and internet) and Plug In (the community). The average person in the U.S. watches T.V. over 4 hours a day. Four hours per day filled with messages about stuff we should buy. That is four hours a day that could be spent with family, friends and in our community. On-line activism is a good start, but spending time in face-to-face civic or community activities strengthens the community and many studies show that a stronger community is a source of social and logistical support, greater security and happiness. A strong community is also critical to having a strong, active democracy.
7. Park your car and walk…and when necessary MARCH! Car-centric land use policies and life styles lead to more greenhouse gas emissions, fossil fuel extraction, conversion of agricultural and wildlands to roads and parking lots. Driving less and walking more is good for the climate, the planet, your health, and your wallet. But sometimes we don’t have an option to leave the car home because of inadequate bike lanes or public transportation options. Then, we may need to march, to join with others to demand sustainable transportation options. Throughout U.S. history, peaceful non-violent marches have played a powerful role in raising awareness about issues, mobilizing people, and sending messages to decision makers.
8. Change your lightbulbs…and then, change your paradigm. Changing lightbulbs is quick and easy. Energy efficient lightbulbs use 75% less energy and last 10 times longer than conventional ones. That’s a no-brainer. But changing lightbulbs is just tinkering at the margins of a fundamentally flawed system unless we also change our paradigm. A paradigm is a collection of assumptions, concepts, beliefs and values that together make up a community’s way of viewing reality. Our current paradigm dictates that more stuff is better, that infinite economic growth is desirable and possible, and that pollution is the price of progress. To really turn things around, we need to nurture a different paradigm based on the values of sustainability, justice, health, and community.
9. Recycle your trash…and, recycle your elected officials. Recycling saves energy and reduces both waste and the pressure to harvest and mine new stuff. Unfortunately, many cities still don’t have adequate recycling systems in place. In that case you can usually find some recycling options in the phone book to start recycling while you’re pressuring your local government to support recycling city-wide. Also, many products – for example, most electronics - are designed not to be recycled or contain toxics so recycling is hazardous. In these cases, we need to lobby government to prohibit toxics in consumer products and to enact Extended Producer Responsibility (EPR) laws, as is happening in Europe. EPR is a policy which holds producers responsible for the entire lifecycle of their products, so that electronics company who use toxics in their products, have to take them back. That is a great incentive for them to get the toxics out!
10. Buy Green, Buy Fair, Buy Local, Buy Used, and most importantly, Buy Less. Shopping is not the solution to the environmental problems we currently face because the real changes we need just aren’t for sale in even the greenest shop. But, when we do shop, we should ensure our dollars support businesses that protect the environment and worker rights. Look beyond vague claims on packages like “all natural” to find hard facts. Is it organic? Is it free of super-toxic PVC plastic? When you can, buy local products from local stores, which keeps more of our hard earned money in the community. Buying used items keeps them out of the trash and avoids the upstream waste created during extraction and production. But, buying less may be the best option of all. Less pollution. Less Waste. Less time working to pay for the stuff. Sometimes, less really is more.