For those who wish to read a much shorter version of Jeremiah's Birth story you can read my husband's version that I copied down here:
~June 22, 10:30 AM: Ultrasound at Drs office showed that Miriam suffered from "fetal macrosomia." Freaky, huh? It just means she had a "big baby" - 9 lb 13 oz according to the ultrasound. Dr. said, "We need to induce this afternoon!"
~3:00 PM: Arrive at the hospital
~4:30 PM: Miriam is started on Pitocin to induce labor.
~June 23, 2:00 AM: Miriam has dilated to 6 cm
~6:00 AM: Still at 6 cm; Miriam is becoming exhausted (and momma Lucy, Jon and doula Jennie who are there all night are sort of tired too!); we talk about our options with the Dr.; he says that breaking her water is the only other option to get things moving.
~6:45 AM: Dr. breaks Miriam's water; baby descends; contractions become more intense.
~8:30 AM: Miriam is at 9 1/2 cm. WHAT?!?!?!?!?!? Man that was fast!
~8:55 AM: Miriam begins pushing
~9:34 AM: Jeremiah is here!!!!!!!!!! Thank you Lord!
Friday, July 14, 2006
Monday, July 10, 2006
A moment to cherish forever
Ever so thankful for our beautiful miracle, Jeremiah Lorenzo. Remembering and missing always our precious miracle Gioia Carise,
waiting for us in Heaven and smiling on her little brother.
Jeremiah's Birth Story:
***For those who do not know web lingo: PTL= Praise the Lord and DH= Dear Husband***
SENT TO THE HOSPITAL:
Thursday June 22 my mother and I went to the OB's office to have a non-stress test (via ultrasound and fetal monitoring). Jeremiah passed both tests but the US showed a possible 9 lb 13 oz. baby! After performing another cervical exam the OB told my mom and I that I needed to be induced ASAP since I wanted to deliver vaginally. He said he was a little bit pessimistic about my ability to give birth vaginally because the baby seemed so big and I was quite petite. We did not however realize he meant immedietly. So after he left us for a minute in the room we were suprised to overhear the nurse call in the hospital to let them know they were sending me in to be induced b/c of "fetal macrosomia"-- that is Big Baby syndrome!We were able to go back home first, recollect ourselves somewhat, call the doula, get everything we needed and take a shower.
INDUCEMENT AT THE HOSPITAL:
We got to the hospital at 3 pm but I had to wait almost an hour before someone finally got to me. By 4:30 we were officially admitted and Jon, my mom and doula were present with me when at 5 pm they finally got me hooked on the pitocin to commence labor. I had hoped they would have had a "battery powered" IV hook for me to take showers in but they didn't. However one nurse who was just helping in was so kind to go look all over the L&D floor for a battery charged fetal monitoring device so I could walk the halls at least and be a little more mobile during labor (I had to be on constant fetal monitoring- hospital policy.) I started to feel the contractions about 45 minutes later but they weren't as intense and frequent as I thought they would be, and they just felt like strong menstrual cramps for a long time, until late evening. I know I don't know what these numbers mean, nor if they were ml or cc, but I started with the minumum of pitocin which was about 8. The max was 90. I went all the way up to 90 around 2:30 am! The contractions did get stronger and more intense as they up the dosage however the progress was slow and I felt bad for my dh, mom and doula who had to be there all night with not much happening. The way the night went was me alternating between trying to bring contractions on more forcefully by walking the hall, moving around on the birthing ball, doing pelvic tilts, etc. and resting and relaxing while lying in bed, rocking in a chair, having one of my companions (mom, dh and doula) rub my feet, back or neck, trying even to catch some zzzs in between contractions. Around 12 am I was up to 6 cms dilated but I stayed that way up to around 6 am when the OB came to check on me. By then the contractions were strong enough (I was afterall at the max amount allowed of pitocin) that I had two of my companions take turns putting pressure on my hips and lower back. For some reason the pressure on the hips really helped. I even got a bruise on the left hip during transition because I wanted so much pressure!
BREAKING THE WATERS AND ONSET OF TRANSITION:
Like I said, I went up all the way to the max pitocin amount and nothing was happening. When the OB came he let me know that breaking my waters artificially was our only real hope to get things moving in the right direction before calling out the dreadful "failure to progress" statement all four of us prayed about it and then had our Dr. break the waters around 6:45 am on Friday June 23. Sure enough, things started moving! My contractions immedietly became much more powerful. I became very very focused as the contractions took over and increased in intensity, duration and frequency. I sort of entered into a zone. I would sit on my birthing ball and just roll around while vocalizing deep sounds and breathing heavily. I am sure it would all seem very strange and weird for others to see and hear. I was very vocal but didn't scream...I sort of had to "move with" the contractions, and vocalizing them as they came over me. There was no way I could "ignore" them or "relax"...I almost had to sort of "dance" and get into this 'out of your mind and in your body' mentality. That is why time and everything else around me just dissapeared for the next two hours! I remember once, for just a slight minute, I went back into my mind and I thought "Oh...what if this isn't transition? Can I 'make' these contractions a 7 or 8?" (I was thinking of the little scale they had at the hospital to determine pain, it went from 1 to 10, 10 being the worse possible). But thank God, nursue Tish (that would later be invaluable during pushing) told us I was at 9 cm dilation almost 10! I was in transition afterall! I stayed on the bed after she checked me w/ my legs crossed and dealt with the hardest contractions ever, still vocalizing and swaying myself back and forth as I hung on to my dh and my mom and doula put pressure on my back and hips (it was so great to have 3 support persons, perfect for what I needed). PUSHING: Than Tish the nursue said I could start pushing. That is when I got out of the zone and felt very vulnerable, like "how do I do that?" I immedietly looked my doula and asked her what I should do and she asked me if I wanted to "breathe the baby out or take deep breaths and hold it in while I pushed." I did not understand what breathing the baby out was right then and I remember holding my breath and pushing when I gave birth to Gioia three years before so I told her I would do that. I think in retrospect I prepared myself well for labor but not much for the actual pushing, wich for me was the hardest part, mainly b/c I had not prepared for how hard it was going to be and how much it was going to hurt. It really did hurt. I looked at my doula and she was so wonderful to help me decide how I would push, counting with me and teachign dh to count for me as I pushed holding my breath. I would take deep breaths, supposedly just one or two but several times I stalled taking in 4 or more because I was 'scared' knowing how it would hurt. I pushed standing up to try and get the baby to descend more, than on all fours on the bed. Than Tish had the wonderful idea for me to get on my back and hold my legs up, like they have you practice in childbirth classes, to encoruage Jeremiah to turn around since he had been in the harder position for descent through the pelvis. That did the trick! Jeremiah did turn around, PTL! She told me to wait and to blow when I had the urge to push as she called the OB. I know that had it not been for her and my doula constantly encouraging me throughout my pushing, telling me that I was making more and more progress, I would have gotten really discouraged and frantic. Them telling me I was getting closer and closer kept me going. The OB came in, totally suprised I had gotten so far. I cried out for dh to come support me by holding me from behind. He sat right behind me and was able to have my same point of view of the birth, which was wonderful for him. I don't remember how long I pushed once the Dr. was there, probably not too long. I had started pushing around 8:50 am. Once he had arrived he told me that if he cut me some I would only have to push a little more, that if he didtn't I would still tear but would probably push longer. I immedietly said "CUT!" I pushed once or twice and I heard them say his head was out...I was so intent in what I was doing I had my eyes closed the whole time and I didn't see (Oh, I remember reaching down earlier to see if I could feel his head and my doula saying not to b/c the Dr. probably wouldn't want me to). I just heard them telling me one more big push, though it probably took me two, to get his broad shoulders out but then he was out and they immedietly layed him on my abdomen!!
HE IS HERE!!!:
What can I say next? I was totally lost in this baby's face! I remember first saying, "Oh scream baby..." and he did, and did not stop for a loooong time He layed crying on my tummy while I just touched his little face. He was covered in blood and white vernex...but I was just so amazed...I thought he was so big and long! I had waited for so long to meet him...I just realized that this precious baby and I were truly meeting face to face for the first time. We knew each other...yet we didn't...we were still a little bit 'stranger' to one another. But I cried so many happy tears, feeling so overwhelmed by what a miracle he was! Birth itself seemed so extraordinary. Dh was behind me so I couldn't see him, but his hands were there too, touching, strocking our newborn Jeremiah. I just gazed at him amazed...couldn't do anything else. Just looked at him, mostly his face. They allowed Jeremiah to stay on my tummy until the cord stopped pulsating; They also took the agpar score while he was there. Than dh got up to cut the cord. I didn't see him cutting the cord b/c I was still stearing at God's miracle (who was still crying PTL!). After that daddy took Jeremiah to be weighed (9 lbs and 4 oz!! Big baby indeed!) and measured (20 1/2 ") etc. There he learned how to swaddle his little bundle of joy and how to put on his diaper. I think Jeremiah calmed down listening to his vocie speak to him. My mom thinks he recognized his dad's voice. My mom, who had to sit down and drink some juice during the pushing b/c it got too emotional for her to watch me go through it came up to me crying and just full of encouragement. She and my doula were both there teary eyed stroking my hair and legs while I went through some excrutiating repair work. I had several tears, both external and internal, in my rectum as well as the birth canal so it took about 40 minutes for the Dr. to get it all fixed up.
REMEMBERING GIOIA:
Before I left the room to go to the recovery hall something hit me. I was looking at dh holding our little Jeremiah and I thought "He is alive, we have a baby!" and it hit me...I remembered Gioia. She was not alive. We did not have a baby to take home....the pure grief and heartache took over and I started bawling. I don't think anyone knew why, only dh did because I was saying through the sobs "He is alive. This time he is alive." The birth experience was actually totally different from Gioia's, and to be honest I did not think of her much during the whole thing. But after he was born I missed her. And I still wished she had been born alive.
AFTER DELIVERY:
I was obviously REALLY tired after that and kind of 'out of it'. When other staff came to take me up to the recovery hall I was so shacky. I hadn't had a good night's rest and so that just added to the fatigue I was feeling. I barely remember those moments until I got to sleep. The nursue that came in to talk to me once I checked in the recovery room probably thought I was looney (BTW, that same nurse came up to me at church today! She has been attending for a year and we had not met yet! How neat is that? I thought it was so nice that she remembered me and came up to me after worship).
That afternoon Jeremiah, who we had asked to room with us, got a little purple. His toungue was not, but they put him under close surveillance in the nursery for a while. They believed he was just having a hard time getting his blood to flow throughout his little body to keep himself warm. He was fine the next day and has had a 'good color' complexion ever since. I sort of freaked out of course when it happened but they took good care of him. The pediatrician said he was a fine looking boy and he passed with flying colors on his first visit. The day we were discharged the pediatrician lady just looked at Jeremiah while I was breastfeeding him and said he looked just great, and we were free to go!
We left on Sunday around noon, June 25th, and it has been a learning experience ever since, but one we have been thanking God for everyday and always will.
***For those who do not know web lingo: PTL= Praise the Lord and DH= Dear Husband***
SENT TO THE HOSPITAL:
Thursday June 22 my mother and I went to the OB's office to have a non-stress test (via ultrasound and fetal monitoring). Jeremiah passed both tests but the US showed a possible 9 lb 13 oz. baby! After performing another cervical exam the OB told my mom and I that I needed to be induced ASAP since I wanted to deliver vaginally. He said he was a little bit pessimistic about my ability to give birth vaginally because the baby seemed so big and I was quite petite. We did not however realize he meant immedietly. So after he left us for a minute in the room we were suprised to overhear the nurse call in the hospital to let them know they were sending me in to be induced b/c of "fetal macrosomia"-- that is Big Baby syndrome!We were able to go back home first, recollect ourselves somewhat, call the doula, get everything we needed and take a shower.
INDUCEMENT AT THE HOSPITAL:
We got to the hospital at 3 pm but I had to wait almost an hour before someone finally got to me. By 4:30 we were officially admitted and Jon, my mom and doula were present with me when at 5 pm they finally got me hooked on the pitocin to commence labor. I had hoped they would have had a "battery powered" IV hook for me to take showers in but they didn't. However one nurse who was just helping in was so kind to go look all over the L&D floor for a battery charged fetal monitoring device so I could walk the halls at least and be a little more mobile during labor (I had to be on constant fetal monitoring- hospital policy.) I started to feel the contractions about 45 minutes later but they weren't as intense and frequent as I thought they would be, and they just felt like strong menstrual cramps for a long time, until late evening. I know I don't know what these numbers mean, nor if they were ml or cc, but I started with the minumum of pitocin which was about 8. The max was 90. I went all the way up to 90 around 2:30 am! The contractions did get stronger and more intense as they up the dosage however the progress was slow and I felt bad for my dh, mom and doula who had to be there all night with not much happening. The way the night went was me alternating between trying to bring contractions on more forcefully by walking the hall, moving around on the birthing ball, doing pelvic tilts, etc. and resting and relaxing while lying in bed, rocking in a chair, having one of my companions (mom, dh and doula) rub my feet, back or neck, trying even to catch some zzzs in between contractions. Around 12 am I was up to 6 cms dilated but I stayed that way up to around 6 am when the OB came to check on me. By then the contractions were strong enough (I was afterall at the max amount allowed of pitocin) that I had two of my companions take turns putting pressure on my hips and lower back. For some reason the pressure on the hips really helped. I even got a bruise on the left hip during transition because I wanted so much pressure!
BREAKING THE WATERS AND ONSET OF TRANSITION:
Like I said, I went up all the way to the max pitocin amount and nothing was happening. When the OB came he let me know that breaking my waters artificially was our only real hope to get things moving in the right direction before calling out the dreadful "failure to progress" statement all four of us prayed about it and then had our Dr. break the waters around 6:45 am on Friday June 23. Sure enough, things started moving! My contractions immedietly became much more powerful. I became very very focused as the contractions took over and increased in intensity, duration and frequency. I sort of entered into a zone. I would sit on my birthing ball and just roll around while vocalizing deep sounds and breathing heavily. I am sure it would all seem very strange and weird for others to see and hear. I was very vocal but didn't scream...I sort of had to "move with" the contractions, and vocalizing them as they came over me. There was no way I could "ignore" them or "relax"...I almost had to sort of "dance" and get into this 'out of your mind and in your body' mentality. That is why time and everything else around me just dissapeared for the next two hours! I remember once, for just a slight minute, I went back into my mind and I thought "Oh...what if this isn't transition? Can I 'make' these contractions a 7 or 8?" (I was thinking of the little scale they had at the hospital to determine pain, it went from 1 to 10, 10 being the worse possible). But thank God, nursue Tish (that would later be invaluable during pushing) told us I was at 9 cm dilation almost 10! I was in transition afterall! I stayed on the bed after she checked me w/ my legs crossed and dealt with the hardest contractions ever, still vocalizing and swaying myself back and forth as I hung on to my dh and my mom and doula put pressure on my back and hips (it was so great to have 3 support persons, perfect for what I needed). PUSHING: Than Tish the nursue said I could start pushing. That is when I got out of the zone and felt very vulnerable, like "how do I do that?" I immedietly looked my doula and asked her what I should do and she asked me if I wanted to "breathe the baby out or take deep breaths and hold it in while I pushed." I did not understand what breathing the baby out was right then and I remember holding my breath and pushing when I gave birth to Gioia three years before so I told her I would do that. I think in retrospect I prepared myself well for labor but not much for the actual pushing, wich for me was the hardest part, mainly b/c I had not prepared for how hard it was going to be and how much it was going to hurt. It really did hurt. I looked at my doula and she was so wonderful to help me decide how I would push, counting with me and teachign dh to count for me as I pushed holding my breath. I would take deep breaths, supposedly just one or two but several times I stalled taking in 4 or more because I was 'scared' knowing how it would hurt. I pushed standing up to try and get the baby to descend more, than on all fours on the bed. Than Tish had the wonderful idea for me to get on my back and hold my legs up, like they have you practice in childbirth classes, to encoruage Jeremiah to turn around since he had been in the harder position for descent through the pelvis. That did the trick! Jeremiah did turn around, PTL! She told me to wait and to blow when I had the urge to push as she called the OB. I know that had it not been for her and my doula constantly encouraging me throughout my pushing, telling me that I was making more and more progress, I would have gotten really discouraged and frantic. Them telling me I was getting closer and closer kept me going. The OB came in, totally suprised I had gotten so far. I cried out for dh to come support me by holding me from behind. He sat right behind me and was able to have my same point of view of the birth, which was wonderful for him. I don't remember how long I pushed once the Dr. was there, probably not too long. I had started pushing around 8:50 am. Once he had arrived he told me that if he cut me some I would only have to push a little more, that if he didtn't I would still tear but would probably push longer. I immedietly said "CUT!" I pushed once or twice and I heard them say his head was out...I was so intent in what I was doing I had my eyes closed the whole time and I didn't see (Oh, I remember reaching down earlier to see if I could feel his head and my doula saying not to b/c the Dr. probably wouldn't want me to). I just heard them telling me one more big push, though it probably took me two, to get his broad shoulders out but then he was out and they immedietly layed him on my abdomen!!
HE IS HERE!!!:
What can I say next? I was totally lost in this baby's face! I remember first saying, "Oh scream baby..." and he did, and did not stop for a loooong time He layed crying on my tummy while I just touched his little face. He was covered in blood and white vernex...but I was just so amazed...I thought he was so big and long! I had waited for so long to meet him...I just realized that this precious baby and I were truly meeting face to face for the first time. We knew each other...yet we didn't...we were still a little bit 'stranger' to one another. But I cried so many happy tears, feeling so overwhelmed by what a miracle he was! Birth itself seemed so extraordinary. Dh was behind me so I couldn't see him, but his hands were there too, touching, strocking our newborn Jeremiah. I just gazed at him amazed...couldn't do anything else. Just looked at him, mostly his face. They allowed Jeremiah to stay on my tummy until the cord stopped pulsating; They also took the agpar score while he was there. Than dh got up to cut the cord. I didn't see him cutting the cord b/c I was still stearing at God's miracle (who was still crying PTL!). After that daddy took Jeremiah to be weighed (9 lbs and 4 oz!! Big baby indeed!) and measured (20 1/2 ") etc. There he learned how to swaddle his little bundle of joy and how to put on his diaper. I think Jeremiah calmed down listening to his vocie speak to him. My mom thinks he recognized his dad's voice. My mom, who had to sit down and drink some juice during the pushing b/c it got too emotional for her to watch me go through it came up to me crying and just full of encouragement. She and my doula were both there teary eyed stroking my hair and legs while I went through some excrutiating repair work. I had several tears, both external and internal, in my rectum as well as the birth canal so it took about 40 minutes for the Dr. to get it all fixed up.
REMEMBERING GIOIA:
Before I left the room to go to the recovery hall something hit me. I was looking at dh holding our little Jeremiah and I thought "He is alive, we have a baby!" and it hit me...I remembered Gioia. She was not alive. We did not have a baby to take home....the pure grief and heartache took over and I started bawling. I don't think anyone knew why, only dh did because I was saying through the sobs "He is alive. This time he is alive." The birth experience was actually totally different from Gioia's, and to be honest I did not think of her much during the whole thing. But after he was born I missed her. And I still wished she had been born alive.
AFTER DELIVERY:
I was obviously REALLY tired after that and kind of 'out of it'. When other staff came to take me up to the recovery hall I was so shacky. I hadn't had a good night's rest and so that just added to the fatigue I was feeling. I barely remember those moments until I got to sleep. The nursue that came in to talk to me once I checked in the recovery room probably thought I was looney (BTW, that same nurse came up to me at church today! She has been attending for a year and we had not met yet! How neat is that? I thought it was so nice that she remembered me and came up to me after worship).
That afternoon Jeremiah, who we had asked to room with us, got a little purple. His toungue was not, but they put him under close surveillance in the nursery for a while. They believed he was just having a hard time getting his blood to flow throughout his little body to keep himself warm. He was fine the next day and has had a 'good color' complexion ever since. I sort of freaked out of course when it happened but they took good care of him. The pediatrician said he was a fine looking boy and he passed with flying colors on his first visit. The day we were discharged the pediatrician lady just looked at Jeremiah while I was breastfeeding him and said he looked just great, and we were free to go!
We left on Sunday around noon, June 25th, and it has been a learning experience ever since, but one we have been thanking God for everyday and always will.
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