Pornography

Last night I attended a women's devotional. I was convicted by the message of one of the girls who spoke of the struggle that every young (and older) man deals with: pornography. Someone even told her that if some guy said that he did not struggle with it he was very likely lying. It is really sad and I felt heavy in my heart for my husband and all the other men out there. What a (not meaningful)sex-saturated world we live in.
I know that for me it is extremly hard to understand the pull that pornography has on men. I know they have a higher sex drive, or better, they are drawn to it more easily/quickly because it comes through the 'eyes', through seeing/looking at/imagining the naked body.
(LADIES, we have a wonderful gift, the gift of being pleasing, but DO NOT BE FOOLED, men are much more pleased by a woman who RESPECTS them enough to not show her body off. We have a responsability, just like we want men to respect us enough and not look at us like pieces of meat, just some pretty thing to look at and touch, than we MUST not DRESS nor ACT like we are such).
Although it might be hard for most of us girls to understand this sin, God opened my eyes recently to some of my own sins (which are so easy to dismiss, for some reason our own struggles always seem 'less' than others). I remember confessing to my husband with an embarassed smiled that I had finished the entire cake in one sitting. Ugh, I felt (and still do) so disgusted with myeslf. You see, I have an eating struggle. I am sometimes controled by my sinful nature that lusts for sweets. Especially chocolate. Many times it is triggered by emotions, such as boredom, moodiness, anger, depression, etc. My husband at first did not understand why I gave in so easily, because he does not struggle like I do with food. Than it hit me! I told him that for me OVEREATING SWEETS was like men's struggle with pornography.
My eyes were open to what he deals with by realizing how easily I fall in the temptation of overeating. I think things such as "it is just this time, I wont eat much longer (and I always do), it isn't that big of a deal"...very similar thoughts that Satan entices men to agree with when tempting them through pornography.
But I had to pray to God last night to give me a greater understanding and to convict me in spirit that this struggle with pornography, just as my own sins and struggles, were a BIG DEAL. It is much easier and nicer to forget about it, because I want to fix it and I know that I am powerless to "undo" with the switch of a wand the lure of pornography and gluttony. But I must realize that I must aknowledge them and accordingly struggle against them, fight them as a soldier of God's army, because my marriage, my husband, my son, the men in my life are important and worhty and that pornography is destroying their spirits. They do not like it one bit. It is never 'nice' or 'fun' to be controlled by something, like sex or food. Things intended for good are distorted by our self-centered need to be immedietly appeased. For why do I always eat chocolate if not to get immedieate gratification? Instead of turning to God and trusting Him to fulfill me in the way I need, I immedietly run to the pantry, the coffeeshop, in hopes to be 'restored' by peanut butter and a mocha. Although I immedietly get the gratification I seek and feel good, it tastes bitter and rotten in the end. Doesn't it? It always goes that way. We are immedietly gratificated but it leaves us very soon even more empty and sadden than before. I am not good at being patient, waiting for God to fulfill me. I want Him to talk to me immedietly, in audible voice. But if I did, would I take what He says and be content, or would I think choclate is better? Because who am I living for? For my lusts, for food, or ...? Will I give God a chance and live for Him? I want to Lord. Help me. Help us all. For we are powerless, but you have the Power to make us whole and save us from ourselves. Amen.