Being aware of and remebering others' pain

(note: I am just throwing it out here, some personal stuff is mentioned below, but just to give an idea of what all this is about and why I am writing a post on it!)

October is best known as breast cancer awareness month. We have the Susan G. Komen breast cancer foundation partnering with nearly every kind of food product company and selling pink clothing, purses, shoes and even battery operated toothbrushes as I recall seeing in the Walm-Mart isle. Please know that I am not saying this is wrong, and I am glad there is such a huge awareness and great support for this disease that for decades and more has left women scarred, afraid of themselves and unable to talk about it openly. I have even been collecting the pink metal lids from the yoplait yogurts to send in and I really wish I had the time/$ to prepare for the 5K run they hold in most major cities in this country in order to raise funds and awareness.
That is a key word today. It isn't only for the money. A big reason this campaign is going on is to just make you aware that many women, women in your life, might struggle, have struggled or are struggling with breast cancer.

But how many, I ask, are aware about another disease, and heartache that the month of October remembers? Infertility is something that will affect about 1 in 100 couples. Jon and I have also struggled with it some and will continue to do so because of my PCOS condition, although many more struggle for much longer and through difficult conditions too. I recently heard through an online support group (thus I have no way to back it up with a source) that some researchers have noted that infertility hits women, but also men, with the same fierce grief and emotional pain as cancer does. For some, not being able to have children easily, or as easily as the average person, not knowing if you ever will, is a loss of your future. You can find much more accurate information through several different organizations, both professional and not, just by doing a google search. I would start though with the link I gave above to the Christian ministry of Hannah's Prayer or through the national non-profit advocacy organization Resolve.

October also remembers the silent losses of many precious babies, born to soon or died in early infancy. Next week will be Oct. 15th Infant and Pregnancy Loss Remembrance Day. As many of you know, for I have posted more frequently on this subject, my husband and I lost of firstborn, our daughter Gioia Carise, 4 years ago this past Septmber 4th. In Arpil the next year we lost our second child, Little 'One' Star, to a very early miscarriage. We are thus intimately acquainted with the pain and reality of pregnancy loss, which is child loss if you believe that life is life as soon as it begins. Even if there is never a photo or even an ultrasound picture. Which for many reasons makes it even harder to grieve.


Yesterday Jon came home, really ashen faced, he looked so down and I assumed it was b/c of school.Then he told me that last week, a young woman I used to know from college and her husband lost their first born, Josiah, just moments after he was born. He told me what he knew and started crying when mentioning the sweet pictures of them that they posted on their blog. And I started crying too. The memories, the very same feelings came back like waves on us. I can imagine what those precious parents are feeling, how much they are aching in every area of their existence. And I hurt so much for them. I can only pray that I can help carry their burden, that they won't have to feel it all at once, that they can experience the mysterious peace that passes understanding for surely no one can understand such a loss.

This Monday I think I will go to the 'garden,' the memorial place where Gioia's body, her cocoon, is laid to rest. I will be remembering her and Kenny, my friend Laura and Rex's son who is also buried there, and my friend Lisa who is about to celebrate her firs baby's expected due date soon, and my friends whose arms are aching to hold a child (I am trying to maintain privacy here) and many many other men and women who I don't even know and perhaps feel so alone now. I will remember especially Josiah's parents, who are hurting so much right now.

I hope you will remember them with me and say a prayer for them and for everyone who is hurting, longing, hoping, wishing....waiting for a child, for peace, for comfort. For Heaven to come down.