While I was out 'surfing' a couple weeks ago I found this blog post I really enjoyed. I asked the author if I could share it so here it is. I thought it was well said. Being a vocal girl as well as one who believes what I am thinking and need or want should be obvious to the one who loves me (a.k.a. my husband), this was a good reminder that, well, it isn't about us girls all the time and being a wife is indeed a lot like being the very best friend on the earth. Reminds me of an Italian saying, :
Nessuno puo' trovare un amico perche' nessuno cerca di esserloThe Kind of Wife Every Husband Needs
(No one finds a friend because no one is trying to be one)
I remember the day it started to sink in. We had vowed to stay together “for better or for worse.” I had pictured that to be tornadoes, job losses and unexpected deaths. Why didn’t anyone look me in the face and say, “Sometimes your spouse will be the ‘for worse’ part, and sometimes it will be YOU!” ? You know what? Someone probably did say that, and just like all of the marriage books I had read, as soon as I felt an ounce of conviction on my own life, and I shut the book and moved along. I was looking for someone to tell me what I wanted to hear – how to fix my husband! In the meantime, I was rejecting all that God wanted me to be.
Ten years and three kids later, I’ve learned a few things. One of those is that I still have so much more to learn! There are many more blessings and many more difficult times to come. I just want to tell you three simple things I ignored, as God was yelling them into my ear (whispering didn’t seem to be working!).
Tell your husband what you want and need. It would be gloriously romantic if he could read your mind about everything. However, he won’t … because he can’t. That doesn’t make him a jerk. It just makes him human. You’re not losing out if you have to verbalize things for him. Instead, you’re giving him the opportunity to help you and express his love for you in the best way possible. “Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned, as it were, with salt, so that you may know how you should respond to each person.” Colossians 4:6
Be his safe haven. Ladies, we’re verbal. Some of us are TERRIBLY verbal! That’s when we start to cross the line from being articulate and outgoing … to just plain sinful. Your husband needs to know that even if he falls on his face, he can come to you as a place of accountability, confession and then know that you will help him to continue to grow in his journey with Christ. The way we speak about our husbands (to them, and to others) will either help or hurt them as they slowly develop into stronger spiritual leaders in our homes. If you need counsel in your marriage, seek out a person with more life experience, and whose walk with Christ is obviously bearing fruit. Ninety-nine percent of the time, that does not include peers, co-workers or family. Give your husband the assurance that his name is safe on your tongue. “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” Proverbs 18:21
Let your marriage be an act of worship. You really can simplify some of this down. The closer you are to Christ, the more you see things through His eyes, and understand His heart. The way you serve your husband, speak to your husband, share intimacy with your husband … it is all an act of worship to your God! Every time there has been some sort of problem in my marriage, it has ALWAYS come down to being a spiritual problem. We are to bring glory and honor to our Creator, each and every day. One way we can do that is by honoring the marriage covenant we have made. “The people whom I formed for Myself, will declare My praise.” Isaiah 43:21
